Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff!  She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
    The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
    When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
    "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
    Moral of the story
     If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through --

So he prayed:

"Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through.
So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!"

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was already 01 P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum,
Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids
And got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies
And got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board
And watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes
And washing vegetables for salad,
Breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Folded laundry,
Bathed the kids,
And put them to bed.
At 09 P.M .

He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished,
He went to bed where he was expected to make love,
Which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning,
He awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.
Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
But You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'

SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN

These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".


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TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN

These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fiances as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.


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SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN

These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people.


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NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN

These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too.


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RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN

These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other person of what he is talking of.


***********

RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN

These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them.


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SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS

These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seems to think a lot and may get angry very soon.


***********

WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN

These persons are very kind-hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment & to the person they are talking. These persons are very firm on their views & posses a lot of will power.

Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08

I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you. I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.


Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08

There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.
The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.
There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.
But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

Barack Obama, New Hampshire Democratic Primary Speech, 01-08-08

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail towards freedom through the darkest of nights.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.


Barack Obama, New Hampshire Democratic Primary Speech, 01-08-08

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. They will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We've been asked to pause for a reality check; we've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

[1] IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE AGAINST HER WILL, IS IT CONSIDERED RAPE OR SHOPLIFTING?

[2] CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER?

[3] HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?

[4] WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN"... BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?

[5] ONCE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY?

[6] WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX? 

[7] WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?

[8] HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE?

[9] WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS?

[10] IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING?

[11] WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU'RE ON TV?

[12] WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDINGS AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BINOCULARS TO LOOK AT THINGS ON THE GROUND?

[13] WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY.

[14] WHY IS "BRA" SINGULAR AND "PANTIES" PLURAL?

[15] WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT?

[16] IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM?

[17] CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ?

[18] IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN'T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT?

[19] WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THEY'RE BOTH DOGS!

[20] IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN'T HE JUST BUY DINNER?

[21] IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM?

[22] IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS?

[23] DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE?

[24] WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE?

[25] WHY DO THEY CALL IT AN ASTEROID WHEN IT'S OUTSIDE THE HEMISPHERE, BUT CALL IT A HEMORRHOID WHEN IT'S IN YOUR BUTT?

[26] DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOG'S FACE, HE GETS MAD AT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE HIM FOR A CAR RIDE, HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW?

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

***********

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

***********

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

***********

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

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Loud Sigh

Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

***********

That's Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

***********

Thanks

This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

***********

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I  smoke while I pray?"

The Priest replies, "No, my son, you  may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and  tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not  surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max  goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"

To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all  means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want  to."

**********

Moral of the story is... The reply you get depends on the  question you ask.

**********

For example, if you want a vacation when still  working on a project don't ask for the holiday;

Ask: "Can I keep  working on this project while I'm on vacation?"

**********

Nothing in this world is IMPOSSIBLE as the word is "I M POSSIBLE".

................................................

Happiness is not something you find, It's something you create.

................................................

One thing you can learn by watching the clock is that it passes time by keeping its hands busy.

................................................

The heart is happiest when it beats for others.

................................................

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little "extra".

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Langkawi is an archipelago of 99 islands in the Andaman Sea, some 30 km off the mainland coast of northwestern Malaysia.

 

 

Kiss on the stomach = I'm ready

Kiss on the Forehead = I hope we're together forever

Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything

Kiss on the Cheek = You look so cute

Kiss on the Hand = I adore you

Kiss on the Neck = We belong together

Kiss on the Shoulder = I want you

Kiss on the Lips = I love you

The earliest Mother's Day celebrations can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. During the 1600's, England celebrated a day called "Mothering Sunday". Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of
Lent (the 40 day period leading up to Easter*), "Mothering Sunday" honored the mothers of England.

During this time many of the England's poor worked as servants for the wealthy. As most jobs were located far from their homes, the servants would live at the houses of their employers. On Mothering Sunday the servants would have the day off and were encouraged to return home and spend the day with their mothers. A special cake, called the mothering cake, was often brought along to provide a festive touch.

As Christianity spread throughout Europe the celebration changed to honor the "Mother Church" - the spiritual power that gave them life and protected them from harm. Over time the church festival blended with the Mothering Sunday celebration . People began honoring their mothers as well as the church.

In the United States Mother's Day was first suggested in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe (who wrote the words to the Battle hymn of the Republic) as a day dedicated to peace. Ms. Howe would hold organized Mother's Day meetings in Boston, Mass ever year.

In 1907 Ana Jarvis, from Philadelphia, began a campaign to establish a national Mother's Day. Ms. Jarvis persuaded her mother's church in Grafton, West Virginia to celebrate Mother's Day on the second anniversary of her mother's death, the 2nd Sunday of May. By the next year Mother's Day was also celebrated in Philadelphia.

Ms. Jarvis and her supporters began to write to ministers, businessman, and politicians in their quest to establish a national Mother's Day. It was successful as by 1911 Mother's Day was celebrated in almost every state. President Woodrow Wilson, in 1914, made the official announcement proclaiming Mother's Day as a national holiday that was to be held each year on the 2nd Sunday of May.

While many countries of the world celebrate their own Mother's Day at different times throughout the year, there are some countries such as Denmark, Finland, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium which also celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May.
Show/Hide Text

This is the fourth set of high denomination notes to be issued this year, the first being in January when a 10 million dollar note was put into circulation. The next was on April 2 when a 50 million dollar note came into being before the 100 and 250 million dollar notes were introduced on May 2.


But,
How it can be useful? ? ?
We can't purchase even three packs of bread from it.


Zimbabwe has the worst inflation rate in the world. Almost 80% of the nation is unemployed. The Zimbabwean central bank has introduced $500 million bearer cheques (or currency notes) for the public, and $5 billion, $25 billion, $50 billion agro-cheques for farmers. Just last fortnight the nation had introduced $250 million bearer cheques.

A sausage sandwich sells for Zimbabwean $50 million. A 15-kg bag of potatoes cost Zimbabwean $260 million. But then, Zimbabwean $50 million is roughly equal to US$ 1!

• 1. People who ride on roller coaters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.


• 2. Black bears are not always black they can be brown, cinnamon, yellow and sometimes white.


• 3. People with blue eyes see better in dark.


• 4. Each year 30,000 people are seriously injured by exercise equipment.


• 5. The placement of a donkey’s eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet.


• 6. The sun is 330330 times larger than the earth.


• 7. The cow gives nearly 200000 glass of milk in her lifetime.


• 8. There are more female than male millionaires in the U.S.A.


• 9. A male baboon can kill a leopard.


• 10. When a person dies, hearing is usually the first sense to go.


• 11. Bill gates house was designed using Macintosh computer.


• 12. Nearly 22,000 cheques will be deducted from the wrong account over the next hour.


• 13. Almost all varieties of breakfast cereals are made from grass.


• 14. Some lions mates over 50 times a day.


• 15. American did not commonly use forks until after the civil war.


• 16. The most productive day of the week is Tuesday.


• 17. In the 1930’s America track star Jesse Owens used to race against horses and dogs to earn a living.


• 18. There’s a great mushroom in Oregon that is 2,400 years old. Covers 3.4 square miles of land and is still growing.


• 19. Jimmy Carter is the first U.S.A. president to have born in hospital.


• 20. Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.


• 21. Cleopatra married two of her brothers.


• 22. Human birth control pill work on gorillas.


• 23. The right lung takes in more air than the left.


• 24. It is illegal to own a red car in shanghai china.


• 25. A hard-boiled egg will spin. An uncooked or soft-boiled egg will not.


• 26. Astronauts cannot burp in space.


• 27. The snowiest city in the U.S.A. is blue canyon, California Lake Nicaragua in Nicaragua is the only fresh water lake in the world that has sharks.


• 28. Kite flying is a professional sport in Thailand.


• 29. The great warrior Genghis khan died in bed while having $ex.


• 30. No matter how cold it gets gasoline will not freeze.


• 31. SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.


• 32. A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.


• 33. DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.


• 34. A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.


• 35. The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.


• 36. The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.


• 37. DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.


• 38. CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.


• 39. The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.


• 40. OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.


• 41. POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.


• 42. KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.


• 43. ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.


• 44. OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.


• 45. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.


• 46. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.


• 47. The c!garette lighter was invented before the match.


• 48. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.


• 49. Tapeworms range in size from about 0.04 inch to more than 50 feet in length.


• 50. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.


• 51. A female mackerel lays about 500,000 eggs at one time.

When u r in light, everything will follow u. But when u enter dark, even your own shadow will not follow u that is life

God made relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends

Money glitters, beauty sparkles, and intelligence shines.

Keep a very firm grasp on reality, so you can strangle it at any time.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're getting.

People may not always believe what you say, but they will believe what you do.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

You can't have everything - where would you put it?

Laugh and the world ignore you. Crying doesn't help either.

God is not moved or impressed with our worship until our hearts are moved and impressed by Him.

Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.

Never trust a person who isn't having at least one crisis.

Goodness is the only investment that never fails.

The only thing lazy people do fast is get tired.

Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.

Silence is the only thing that can't be misquoted!

If we don't control our money, it will control us.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich..

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

If you r living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Learn from other people's mistakes, life isn't long enough to make them all yourself.

On the road, never argue with a vehicle heavier than yours.

One thing you can give and still keep is your word.

Life is funny if you don't think about it.

Life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense.

There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge.

More doors are opened with 'please' than with keys.