Knowledge Sharing Man

Thank you for calling Jehovah/Allah/ and all the rest.

For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For Arabic press 3

For all other languages  press 4

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for Virgins website (mobile phones only)

Press 5 for all others


I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now.  However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received.  Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

Jehovah (Jewish) press 1

Jehovah (RC) press 2

Jehovah (Anglican) press 3

Jehovah (OPD) press 4

Allah (Sunni) press 5

Allah (Shia) press 6

E-meter press 7

Other deities press 8

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven/Paradise/ Nirvana/Sheol press 9, then enter his social security number followed by the $ sign.   If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.

For reservations to Heaven/Nirvana/ Paradise/ Sheol, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers 3:16.


For answers to nagging questions about gods, dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor/imam/ shaman/conman/witch doctor.

Thank you and have a nice day.

************

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Knowledge Sharing Man

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection, either."

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