tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13911257235690093172024-03-06T02:10:20.336+08:00My Knowledge SharingsKnowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.comBlogger127125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-44348163919041455512010-04-20T15:11:00.004+08:002010-04-20T15:19:32.591+08:00Fact about your farts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOUXeea5mqIHpCR4qqBqn2aYQyfE7ZqooZHHctCAnHTdz0Y7lHooNgnUvalBCz-eyzbmmrgF3huxWVxyyjuYgiQ3FsSkefSggjz5XIOgOr7WS3ZwBJ7bf4aoUkSkGPP6nwsH1VoQqJHg/s1600/Facts+about+your+farts.jpg" target="_blank" onclick="window.open(this.href, 'popupwindow', 'width=420, height=350, resizable=no, scrollbars=yes, menubar=no, toolbar=no, status=no'); return false;"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 137px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOUXeea5mqIHpCR4qqBqn2aYQyfE7ZqooZHHctCAnHTdz0Y7lHooNgnUvalBCz-eyzbmmrgF3huxWVxyyjuYgiQ3FsSkefSggjz5XIOgOr7WS3ZwBJ7bf4aoUkSkGPP6nwsH1VoQqJHg/s400/Facts+about+your+farts.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462115113857069778" /></a>Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-80974517658565027842010-04-13T13:13:00.001+08:002010-04-13T13:13:58.280+08:00SPAGHETTIFor several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.<br /> <br />One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to Ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she Would go to Italy to secretly have the child..<br /> <br />If she stayed in Italy To raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child Turned 18.<br /> <br />She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.<br /> <br /><br />To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And Write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child Support payment to begin.<br /> <br />One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.<br /> <br />'You received a very strange postcard today,' she said.<br /> <br />'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he replied. The Wife obeyed.<br /> <br /><br />And watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.<br /> <br />On the card was written: <br /> <br />Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. <br />Three with meatballs, two without. <br />Send extra sauce.<br /><br /><br />Source:: FunlokKnowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-41116179150025285342010-04-08T12:55:00.000+08:002010-04-08T13:03:28.721+08:00Funny Questions and AnswersTeacher : Which is the oldest animal in world?<br />Sardar : ZEBRA<br />Teacher : How?<br />Sardar : Bcoz it is Black & White<br />************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **<br /><br />Judge : Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..<br />Sardar to judge : U R coming daily, don't U have shame?<br />************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **<br /><br />Question : "Should Women have Children after 35?"<br />Smart Sardar Replied : "No!<br />35 Children R More than Enough!!"<br />************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **<br /><br />Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.<br />Manager : Do U know MS Office?<br />Sardar : If U give me the address I will go there sir.<br />************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *<br /><br />Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .... While its landing he shouted: " Bombay<br />... Bombay "<br />Air hostess said : "B silent."<br />Sardar : "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"<br />************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *<br /><br />Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"<br />Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!<br />************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **<br /><br />Sir : What is difference between Orange and Apple?<br />Sardar : Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLEKnowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-43897426313508435292009-10-22T15:19:00.000+08:002009-10-22T15:19:00.650+08:005 Minute Management Course - Lesson4<p>Lesson 4: </p> <p>An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" </p> <p>The eagle answered: "Sure , why not." </p> <p>So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. </p> <p>Moral of the story </p> <p> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. </p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-81994440574993923112009-10-21T15:15:00.001+08:002009-10-22T16:15:46.897+08:005 Minute Management Course - Lesson3<p>Lesson 3: </p> <p>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. </p> <p>The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." </p> <p>"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." </p> <p>Puff!  She's gone. </p> <p>"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." </p> <p>Puff! He's gone. </p> <p>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. </p> <p>The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." </p> <p>Moral of the story </p> <p> Always let your boss have the first say. </p>Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-14516585347987035732009-10-20T15:14:00.000+08:002009-10-20T15:14:00.244+08:005 Minute Management Course - Lesson2<p>Lesson 2: </p> <p>A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. </p> <p>The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" </p> <p>The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. </p> <p>The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" </p> <p>The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." </p> <p>Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. </p> <p>On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." </p> <p>Moral of the story </p> <p> If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-78918772768093685532009-10-19T14:59:00.000+08:002009-10-19T14:59:00.283+08:005 Minute Management Course - Lesson1<p>Lesson 1: <br />A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. <br />    The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. <br />    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, " <br />    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. <br />    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. <br />    When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" <br />    "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. <br />    "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" <br />    Moral of the story <br />     If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. </p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-7441925333300186242009-10-18T15:09:00.001+08:002009-10-18T15:09:32.872+08:00Don’t Complaint to Your Wife<p>A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through -- </p> <p>So he prayed: </p> <p>"Dear Lord: <br />I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. <br />I want her to know what I go through. <br />So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!" </p> <p>God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. </p> <p>The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. <br />He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, <br />Awakened the kids, <br />Set out their school clothes, <br />Fed them breakfast, <br />Packed their lunches, <br />Drove them to school, <br />Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, <br />Took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, <br />Went grocery shopping, <br />Then drove home to put away the groceries, <br />Paid the bills and balanced the check book. <br />He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. <br />Then, it was already 01 P.M. </p> <p>And he hurried to make the beds, <br />Do the laundry, vacuum, <br />Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. <br />Ran to the school to pick up the kids <br />And got into an argument with them on the way home. <br />Set out milk and cookies <br />And got the kids organized to do their homework. <br />Then, set up the ironing board <br />And watched TV while he did the ironing. <br />At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes <br />And washing vegetables for salad, <br />Breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. </p> <p>After supper, <br />He cleaned the kitchen, <br />Ran the dishwasher, <br />Folded laundry, <br />Bathed the kids, <br />And put them to bed. <br />At 09 P.M . </p> <p>He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, <br />He went to bed where he was expected to make love, <br />Which he managed to get through without complaint. </p> <p>The next morning, <br />He awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - <br />'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. <br />I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. <br />Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!' </p> <p>The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: <br />'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. <br />But You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-34668096869386549872009-10-15T15:00:00.000+08:002009-10-15T15:00:03.583+08:00Overconfidence !!!<p>It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. </p> <p>The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, </p> <p>"But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. </p> <p>The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." </p> <p>"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. </p> <p>The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. </p> <p>"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. </p> <p>"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" </p> <p>With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-88015249335074062992009-10-14T13:55:00.000+08:002009-10-14T13:56:03.884+08:00God created Man….<p>GOD created the DONKEY and told him, 'You will work tireless from sunrise up to sunset, carrying heavy bags on your back, you will eat grass. You will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!' </p> <p>The DONKEY answered, 'I will be a DONKEY, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years!' and GOD gave him 20 years. </p> <p>GOD created DOG and told him ' You will look after man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25years, You will be a DOG!' </p> <p>The DOG answered 'GOD, living 25 years is too much, give only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years. </p> <p>GOD created the MONKEY and told him, 'you will jump from branch to branch you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years, you will be a MONKEY!' </p> <p>The MONKEY answered ' GOD, living 20 years is too much , give me only 10 years!' and GOD gave him 10 years. </p> <p>Finally, </p> <p>GOD created MAN and told him, 'you will be a MAN the only rational being on this earth and you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years. </p> <p>The MAN answered, GOD I will be a man but living 20 years is not enough, why don't you give me the 30 years that the DONKEY refused, the 15 years that the DOG didn't want and the 10 years that the MONKEY refused ?' </p> <p>That was exactly what GOD did, and since then: </p> <p><strong>MAN lives 20 years like a MAN, then he gets married and spends 30 years like a DONKEY, working and carrying the load on his back. Then, when his children leave he spends 15 years like DOG looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him. Then he gets old, retires and spends 10 years like a MONKEY, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse his grandchildren!</strong></p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-18012200425921741432009-05-20T13:00:00.000+08:002009-05-20T13:02:48.786+08:00Useful Dhamma Websites<ul> <li><a href="http://www.dhammaweb.net/" target="_blank"><font size="3">Dhamma Web</font></a></li> <li><a href="http://www.dhammadownload.com/" target="_blank"><font size="3">Dhammadownload</font></a></li> </ul> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-7046472593746327162009-04-24T21:01:00.001+08:002009-05-05T21:09:47.002+08:00Another best eBooks Sharing Site for Myanmar People<p>Hi All,</p> <p>Please go and check this website <a href="http://www.books-hive.com/" target="_blank">Books Hive</a>. I recommend that it is one of the best ebooks sharing website.</p>Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-83829032679603417132009-04-01T20:39:00.001+08:002009-04-01T20:41:22.478+08:00Your behavior By Signing StyleSINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN<br /><br />These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".<br /><br /><br />***********<br /><br />TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN<br /><br />These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fiances as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.<br /><br /><br />***********<br /><br />SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN<br /><br />These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people.<br /><br /><br />***********<br /><br />NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN<br /><br />These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too.<br /><br /><br />***********<br /><br />RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN<br /><br />These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other person of what he is talking of.<br /><br /><br />***********<br /><br />RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN<br /><br />These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them.<br /><br /><br />***********<br /><br />SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS<br /><br />These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seems to think a lot and may get angry very soon.<br /><br /><br />***********<br /><br />WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN<br /><br />These persons are very kind-hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment & to the person they are talking. These persons are very firm on their views & posses a lot of will power.Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-34612098542084516952009-03-26T13:28:00.000+08:002009-03-26T13:34:36.447+08:00Barack Obama (1961 - )<span style="font-weight:bold;">Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08</span><br /><br />I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you. I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08</span><br /><br />If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08</span><br /><br />There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.<br />The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.<br />There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.<br />But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Barack Obama, New Hampshire Democratic Primary Speech, 01-08-08</span><br /><br />It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.<br />Yes we can.<br />It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail towards freedom through the darkest of nights.<br />Yes we can.<br />It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.<br />Yes we can.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Barack Obama, New Hampshire Democratic Primary Speech, 01-08-08</span><br /><br />We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. They will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We've been asked to pause for a reality check; we've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-30831716260724789272009-03-12T12:54:00.000+08:002009-03-26T12:55:07.815+08:00QUIZ???<p>[1] IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE AGAINST HER WILL, IS IT CONSIDERED RAPE OR SHOPLIFTING?</p> <p> <br />[2] CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER? </p> <p> <br />[3] HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED? </p> <p> <br />[4] WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN"... BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO? </p> <p> <br />[5] ONCE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY? </p> <p> <br />[6] WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX?  </p> <p> <br />[7] WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE? </p> <p> <br />[8] HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE? </p> <p> <br />[9] WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS? </p> <p> <br />[10] IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING? </p> <p> <br />[11] WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU'RE ON TV? </p> <p> <br />[12] WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDINGS AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BINOCULARS TO LOOK AT THINGS ON THE GROUND? <br /></p> <p>[13] WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY. <br /></p> <p>[14] WHY IS "BRA" SINGULAR AND "PANTIES" PLURAL? <br /></p> <p>[15] WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT? <br /></p> <p>[16] IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM? <br /></p> <p>[17] CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ? <br /></p> <p>[18] IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN'T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT? <br /></p> <p>[19] WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THEY'RE BOTH DOGS! <br /></p> <p>[20] IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN'T HE JUST BUY DINNER? <br /></p> <p>[21] IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM? <br /></p> <p>[22] IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS? <br /></p> <p>[23] DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE? <br /></p> <p>[24] WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE? <br /></p> <p>[25] WHY DO THEY CALL IT AN ASTEROID WHEN IT'S OUTSIDE THE HEMISPHERE, BUT CALL IT A HEMORRHOID WHEN IT'S IN YOUR BUTT? <br /></p> <p>[26] DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOG'S FACE, HE GETS MAD AT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE HIM FOR A CAR RIDE, HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW?</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-13525018995974799082009-02-19T12:51:00.000+08:002009-03-26T12:51:33.761+08:00Our Eyes<p>Eyes Are the most complex organs you possess except for your brain.   <br />Eyes Are composed of more than two million working parts.   <br />Eyes Can process 36,000 bits of information every hour.   <br />Eyes Under the right conditions, can discern the light of a candle at a distance of 14 miles.   <br />Eyes Contribute towards 85% of your total knowledge.</p> <p></p> <p>Eyes Utilize 65% of all the pathways to the brain.   <br />Eyes Can instantaneously set in motion hundreds of muscles and organs in your body.   <br />Eyes In a normal life-span, will bring you almost 24 million images of the world around you.   <br />Eyes The external muscles that move the eyes are the strongest muscles in the human body for the job that they have to do. They are 100 times more powerful than they need to be.   <br />Eyes The adult eyeball measures about 1 inch (2.5 cm) in diameter. Of its total surface area only one-sixth is exposed -- the front portion.   <br />Eyes The eye is the only part of the human body that can function at 100% ability at any moment, day or night, without rest. Your eyelids need rest, the external muscles of your eyes need rest, the lubrication of your eyes requires replenishment, but your eyes themselves "never" need rest. But please rest them!   <br />Eyes Eyes are your most precious sense... care for them properly! </p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-74482535689670232862009-02-04T12:47:00.000+08:002009-03-26T12:48:22.541+08:00Friend<p>A friend is a push when you have stopped, <br />A chat when you arr lonely, <br />A guide when you are searching, <br />A smile when you are sad, <br />A song when you are glad. <br /></p> <p>............ ......... ..................... ..</p> <p>What is a friend? <br />She looks out 4 you, <br />Inspires you, <br />Laughs with you, <br />Cries with you, <br />Understands you, <br />Guides you and walks with you. <br />That's what a friend is... <strong>YOU</strong>. </p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-45593381552017025592009-01-21T12:21:00.000+08:002009-03-26T12:22:11.820+08:00FUNNY Poems Written By Husband To Wife<p>I wrote your name on sand it got washed.</p> <p>I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then</p> <p>I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.</p> <p>******</p> <p>God saw me hungry, he created pizza .</p> <p>He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .</p> <p>He saw me in dark, he created light .</p> <p>He saw me without problems, he created YOU.</p> <p>******</p> <p>Twinkle Twinkle little star</p> <p>You should know what you are</p> <p>And once you know what you are</p> <p>Mental hospital is not so far.</p> <p>******</p> <p>The rain makes all things beautiful.</p> <p>The grass and flowers too.</p> <p>If rain makes all things beautiful</p> <p>Why doesn't it rain on you?</p> <p>******</p> <p>Roses are red, Violets are blue</p> <p>Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.</p> <p>Don't feel so angry you will find me there too</p> <p>Not in cage but laughing at you.</p> <p>******</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-62294737409551181082009-01-07T12:18:00.000+08:002009-03-26T12:18:23.370+08:00What If Titanic sank Today?<p><strong>Reaction from different countries: <br />************ **</strong> <br /><strong>U.S.A:</strong> <br />"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists. <br />We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson. <br />Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network." <br />(President Bush........ whoelse?)  <br /></p> <p>************ ** <br /><strong>U.K: </strong> <br />"I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the world and this has to be dealt with." <br />(Prime Minister Blair) <br />************ ** <br /><strong>Iraq:</strong> <br />"LOL!!!" (President Saddam Hussain) <br />************ ** <br /><strong>Israel: </strong> <br />"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide bombers who have commited such a crime. <br />We will now impose curfew on the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps." <br />(Ariel Sharon....) <br />************ ** <br /><b> <br /><strong>Canada: </strong></b> <br />"Titanic who?" (Canadian Prime Minister) <br />************ ** <br /><strong>India: </strong> <br />"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. We have received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris. <br />Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We are now deploying more soldiers to the border." <br />(Prime Minister Vajpayee) <br />************ ** <br /><strong>Pakistan: </strong> <br />"Sind may Double Sawari per ghair muayyana muddat ke liye pabandi" <br />(President Musharraf) <br />************ ** <br /><strong>UN: </strong> <br />"Shit happens right??" <br />(Sec.Gen. Kofi Annan) <br />************ ** <br /><strong>Survivors: </strong> <br />"Uhh. Helllooo. Is anyone listening... it was an iceberg..hellloooooo." <br />************ **</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-59015562153683739332008-12-25T12:11:00.000+08:002009-03-26T12:12:14.981+08:00Auto-answering<p>Thank you for calling Jehovah/Allah/ and all the rest.</p> <p>For English press 1</p> <p>For Spanish press 2</p> <p>For Arabic press 3</p> <p>For all other languages  press 4</p> <p>Please select one of the following options:</p> <p>Press 1 for request</p> <p>Press 2 for thanksgiving</p> <p>Press 3 for complaints</p> <p>Press 4 for Virgins website (mobile phones only)</p> <p>Press 5 for all others</p> <p> <br />I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now.  However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received.  Please stay on the line.</p> <p>If you would like to speak to:</p> <p>Jehovah (Jewish) press 1</p> <p>Jehovah (RC) press 2</p> <p>Jehovah (Anglican) press 3</p> <p>Jehovah (OPD) press 4</p> <p>Allah (Sunni) press 5</p> <p>Allah (Shia) press 6</p> <p>E-meter press 7</p> <p>Other deities press 8</p> <p>To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven/Paradise/ Nirvana/Sheol press 9, then enter his social security number followed by the $ sign.   If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.</p> <p>For reservations to Heaven/Nirvana/ Paradise/ Sheol, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers 3:16.</p> <p> <br />For answers to nagging questions about gods, dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive for the specifics.</p> <p>Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.</p> <p>The office is now closed to observe a religious holiday.</p> <p>If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor/imam/ shaman/conman/witch doctor.</p> <p>Thank you and have a nice day.</p> <p>************</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-83928719975681654342008-12-18T12:04:00.000+08:002009-03-26T12:04:56.890+08:00The Second Opinion<p>Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. <br />"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." <br />The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on." <br />The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection, either."</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-54386873501327069662008-11-27T21:21:00.000+08:002009-03-26T11:11:44.298+08:00God as Computer Programmer - 2<p>Q: How come the Age of Miracles Ended? </p> <p>A: That was the development phase of the project, now we are in the </p> <p>   Maintenance phase. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Will there be another Universe after the Big Bang? </p> <p>A: A lot of people are drawing things on the white board, but </p> <p>   Personally, God doubts that it will ever be implemented. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Who is Satan? </p> <p>A: Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he </p> <p>   Actually possesses, so people who aren't programmers are scared of </p> <p>   Him.  God thinks of him as irritating but irrelevant. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: What is the role of sinners? </p> <p>A: Sinners are the people who find new an imaginative ways to mess up </p> <p>   The system when God has made it idiot-proof. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Where will I go after I die? </p> <p>A: Onto a DAT tape. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Will I be reincarnated? </p> <p>A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you.  And searching </p> <p>   Those .tar files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you, </p> <p>   God will just say that the tape has been lost. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Am I unique and special in the universe? </p> <p>A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites running </p> <p>   Exact duplicates of you in the present release version. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: What is the purpose of the universe? </p> <p>A: God created it because he values elegance and simplicity, but then </p> <p>   The users and managers demanded he tack all this senseless stuff onto </p> <p>   It and now everything is more complicated and expensive than ever. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: If I pray to God, will he listen? </p> <p>A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get </p> <p>   Off his back and let him program. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: What is the one true religion? </p> <p>A: All systems have their advantages and disadvantages, so just pick </p> <p>   The one that best suits your needs and don't let anyone put you down. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: How can I protect myself from evil? </p> <p>A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common </p> <p>   Word, or a date like your birthday. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God.  Is this true? </p> <p>A: They are much more likely to receive email. </p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Some people say God is Love. </p> <p>A: That is not a question.  Please restate your query in the form of a </p> <p>   Question. </p> <p>   Abort, Retry, Fail? </p> <p>**********</p>Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-27726112990970519472008-11-25T21:20:00.000+08:002009-03-26T11:12:13.782+08:00God as Computer Programmer - 1<p>Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.</p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?</p> <p>A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it's tedious to step through all those variables.</p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?</p> <p>A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs.</p> <p>**********</p> <p></p> <p>Q: Does God know everything?</p> <p>A: He likes to think so, but he is often amazed to find out what goes</p> <p>   On in the overnite job.</p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?</p> <p>A: If an critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and</p> <p>   He logs on from home to try to bring it up.  Otherwise things can</p> <p>   Wait until tomorrow.</p> <p>********** <br /></p> <p>Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?</p> <p>A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy</p> <p>   Bars.  On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend</p> <p>   Had left him.</p> <p>********** </p>Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-73908354349846529882008-10-10T15:25:00.001+08:002009-03-25T21:08:44.457+08:00Words the women use<p><strong>Fine</strong> </p> <p>This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. </p> <p>*********** </p> <p><strong>Five Minutes </strong></p> <p>If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. </p> <p>Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. </p> <p>*********** </p> <p><strong>Nothing</strong> </p> <p>This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". </p> <p>*********** </p> <p><strong>Go Ahead</strong> </p> <p>This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT! </p> <p>*********** </p> <p><strong>Loud Sigh</strong> </p> <p>Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". </p> <p>*********** </p> <p><strong>That's Okay</strong> </p> <p>This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. </p> <p>*********** </p> <p><strong>Thanks </strong></p> <p>This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly. </p> <p>***********</p>Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1391125723569009317.post-73036301424367272572008-10-02T15:21:00.000+08:002009-03-25T15:22:29.278+08:00Wife & restarant<p>Some times good service <br />Some times bad service <br />Some times no service <br />Some times Self service</p> Knowledge Sharing Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15758996820036825991noreply@blogger.com0