Knowledge Sharing Man
Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08

I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you. I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.


Barack Obama, Election Night Speech in Chicago, 11-04-08

There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.
The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.
There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.
But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

Barack Obama, New Hampshire Democratic Primary Speech, 01-08-08

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail towards freedom through the darkest of nights.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.


Barack Obama, New Hampshire Democratic Primary Speech, 01-08-08

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. They will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We've been asked to pause for a reality check; we've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.
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Knowledge Sharing Man

[1] IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH A PROSTITUTE AGAINST HER WILL, IS IT CONSIDERED RAPE OR SHOPLIFTING?


[2] CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER?


[3] HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?


[4] WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN"... BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?


[5] ONCE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY?


[6] WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX? 


[7] WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?


[8] HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE?


[9] WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS?


[10] IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING?


[11] WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU'RE ON TV?


[12] WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDINGS AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BINOCULARS TO LOOK AT THINGS ON THE GROUND?

[13] WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY.

[14] WHY IS "BRA" SINGULAR AND "PANTIES" PLURAL?

[15] WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT?

[16] IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM?

[17] CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ?

[18] IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN'T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT?

[19] WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THEY'RE BOTH DOGS!

[20] IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN'T HE JUST BUY DINNER?

[21] IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM?

[22] IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS?

[23] DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE?

[24] WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE?

[25] WHY DO THEY CALL IT AN ASTEROID WHEN IT'S OUTSIDE THE HEMISPHERE, BUT CALL IT A HEMORRHOID WHEN IT'S IN YOUR BUTT?

[26] DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOG'S FACE, HE GETS MAD AT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE HIM FOR A CAR RIDE, HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW?

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Knowledge Sharing Man

Eyes Are the most complex organs you possess except for your brain.  
Eyes Are composed of more than two million working parts.  
Eyes Can process 36,000 bits of information every hour.  
Eyes Under the right conditions, can discern the light of a candle at a distance of 14 miles.  
Eyes Contribute towards 85% of your total knowledge.

Eyes Utilize 65% of all the pathways to the brain.  
Eyes Can instantaneously set in motion hundreds of muscles and organs in your body.  
Eyes In a normal life-span, will bring you almost 24 million images of the world around you.  
Eyes The external muscles that move the eyes are the strongest muscles in the human body for the job that they have to do. They are 100 times more powerful than they need to be.  
Eyes The adult eyeball measures about 1 inch (2.5 cm) in diameter. Of its total surface area only one-sixth is exposed -- the front portion.  
Eyes The eye is the only part of the human body that can function at 100% ability at any moment, day or night, without rest. Your eyelids need rest, the external muscles of your eyes need rest, the lubrication of your eyes requires replenishment, but your eyes themselves "never" need rest. But please rest them!  
Eyes Eyes are your most precious sense... care for them properly!

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Knowledge Sharing Man

A friend is a push when you have stopped,
A chat when you arr lonely,
A guide when you are searching,
A smile when you are sad,
A song when you are glad.

............ ......... ..................... ..

What is a friend?
She looks out 4 you,
Inspires you,
Laughs with you,
Cries with you,
Understands you,
Guides you and walks with you.
That's what a friend is... YOU.

Knowledge Sharing Man

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then

I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

******

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

******

Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.

******

The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful

Why doesn't it rain on you?

******

Roses are red, Violets are blue

Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

Not in cage but laughing at you.

******

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Knowledge Sharing Man

Reaction from different countries:
************ **

U.S.A:
"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists.
We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson.
Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network."
(President Bush........ whoelse?) 

************ **
U.K:
"I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the world and this has to be dealt with."
(Prime Minister Blair)
************ **
Iraq:
"LOL!!!" (President Saddam Hussain)
************ **
Israel:
"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide bombers who have commited such a crime.
We will now impose curfew on the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps."
(Ariel Sharon....)
************ **

Canada:

"Titanic who?" (Canadian Prime Minister)
************ **
India:
"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. We have received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris.
Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We are now deploying more soldiers to the border."
(Prime Minister Vajpayee)
************ **
Pakistan:
"Sind may Double Sawari per ghair muayyana muddat ke liye pabandi"
(President Musharraf)
************ **
UN:
"Shit happens right??"
(Sec.Gen. Kofi Annan)
************ **
Survivors:
"Uhh. Helllooo. Is anyone listening... it was an iceberg..hellloooooo."
************ **

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Knowledge Sharing Man

Thank you for calling Jehovah/Allah/ and all the rest.

For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For Arabic press 3

For all other languages  press 4

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for Virgins website (mobile phones only)

Press 5 for all others


I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now.  However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received.  Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

Jehovah (Jewish) press 1

Jehovah (RC) press 2

Jehovah (Anglican) press 3

Jehovah (OPD) press 4

Allah (Sunni) press 5

Allah (Shia) press 6

E-meter press 7

Other deities press 8

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven/Paradise/ Nirvana/Sheol press 9, then enter his social security number followed by the $ sign.   If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.

For reservations to Heaven/Nirvana/ Paradise/ Sheol, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers 3:16.


For answers to nagging questions about gods, dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor/imam/ shaman/conman/witch doctor.

Thank you and have a nice day.

************

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Knowledge Sharing Man

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection, either."

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Knowledge Sharing Man

Q: How come the Age of Miracles Ended?

A: That was the development phase of the project, now we are in the

   Maintenance phase.

**********

Q: Will there be another Universe after the Big Bang?

A: A lot of people are drawing things on the white board, but

   Personally, God doubts that it will ever be implemented.

**********

Q: Who is Satan?

A: Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he

   Actually possesses, so people who aren't programmers are scared of

   Him.  God thinks of him as irritating but irrelevant.

**********

Q: What is the role of sinners?

A: Sinners are the people who find new an imaginative ways to mess up

   The system when God has made it idiot-proof.

**********

Q: Where will I go after I die?

A: Onto a DAT tape.

**********

Q: Will I be reincarnated?

A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you.  And searching

   Those .tar files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you,

   God will just say that the tape has been lost.

**********

Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?

A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites running

   Exact duplicates of you in the present release version.

**********

Q: What is the purpose of the universe?

A: God created it because he values elegance and simplicity, but then

   The users and managers demanded he tack all this senseless stuff onto

   It and now everything is more complicated and expensive than ever.

**********

Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?

A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get

   Off his back and let him program.

**********

Q: What is the one true religion?

A: All systems have their advantages and disadvantages, so just pick

   The one that best suits your needs and don't let anyone put you down.

**********

Q: How can I protect myself from evil?

A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common

   Word, or a date like your birthday.

**********

Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God.  Is this true?

A: They are much more likely to receive email.

**********

Q: Some people say God is Love.

A: That is not a question.  Please restate your query in the form of a

   Question.

   Abort, Retry, Fail?

**********

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Knowledge Sharing Man

Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.

**********

Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?

A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it's tedious to step through all those variables.

**********

Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?

A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs.

**********

Q: Does God know everything?

A: He likes to think so, but he is often amazed to find out what goes

   On in the overnite job.

**********

Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?

A: If an critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and

   He logs on from home to try to bring it up.  Otherwise things can

   Wait until tomorrow.

**********

Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?

A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy

   Bars.  On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend

   Had left him.

**********

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