During work, David and Michael were chatting:
David: Michael, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Michael: oh!
David: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Michael: No
David: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
David: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Michael: No
David: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
David: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Michael: No
David: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Michael got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Wyatt?
David: No
Michael: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know
Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
George: Condi! Nice to see you? What''s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I''m asking you? Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu?
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya?asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That''s the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. On the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.
********
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
And a keyboard was on a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
And a CD was a bank account
And if you had a corrupted disk
It would hurt when you found out!
Compress was what you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
A hard drive was a trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to the commode!
Cutting, you did with a pocket knife,
Pasting, you did with glue.
The Web was where a spider lived
And a virus was the flu!
